So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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