You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
