i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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