will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
