another moral hangover. fuck.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
