I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
