now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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