yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
