Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
