dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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