eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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