so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
