guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
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