I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
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I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
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Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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