Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Randomize
