Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
