dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
