I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
