That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
