I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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