Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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