this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
