I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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