so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
