Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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