Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
