it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
