Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
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The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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