so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
