You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
