everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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