I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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