i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
