i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you didnt know i had herpes?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize