I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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