Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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