Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
