also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
