just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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