Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
