farters have to be the big spoon...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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