im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
pray to the hookup gods
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
