I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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