Jerry, you need to find god
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
