Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
