I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ketchup is God's man juice
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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