Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We need to get me chipped asap
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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