i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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