piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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