i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
