I'm eating all of the evidence.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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