I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
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This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
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Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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