good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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