maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
