I got chris browned last night
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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