Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
