if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
