i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
